Day 38: Provins to Melun. Approximately 30 miles.

My god did I eat a lot at breakfast, totally starving! Anyway it was baltic again but at least the sun was out and the miles few. Had to get to Melun at a reasonable time due to not having anywhere to stay. Stopped for a coffee and my millionth pain au chocolat in Nangis and managed to reach Melun just after lunchtime. Jefferson Airplane was the order of the day music wise which matched the rolling hills and autumn sun rather well.
First port of call in melun: internet cafe, hurrah! Utilising such establishments prior to finding somewhere to sleep can be a slight pain in the arse though as it means I have to unload all the shit from the bike and struggle into the cafe with it. Anyway its worth it to get some contact with the outside world...Tom, Horse, mother...

Off to the tourist information to enquire as to the cheapest hotel in town. That sucessfully accomplished I headed out to find it. Funny place! Run by a totally sound chap called Kamel (pictured below) and his trusty sidekick (an old man who had lived in France for 25 years and didn't speak any French, ridiculous). The hotel was also home to more mice than live in the Horse's house. Shocking.
Me and Kamel ended up getting rather pished on free beer and smoking hunners of fags inside, awesome! Only for the second time since leaving the UK did I have to concentrate on not throwing up in bed. Thank god tomorrow is short!

Day 37: Troyes to Provins. Approximately 45 miles.

Off to a medival walled city of sorts today. Definately one of the worst starts to any day due to getting brutally lost trying to get out of Troyes. I fucking hate signs that direct you to the motorway! Anyway after much frustration and a fag to calm things down I broke free from the clutches of Troyes and was off in the right direction.

A good day today other than the baltic temperatures- I have officially got into wearing my dad's silly flouro jacket. Also got a totally excellent lunch of chicken enchaladas with chips (very authentic Mexican). Didn't get any human interaction today though so the banter for the day is a bit sparse. Also stayed in a shit cheap hotel with an awful lot of French tradesmen and no dinner. Well, thats not entirely true- I got a Kinder Bueno and a coffee out of a machine and smoked some fags. French X factor in bed...I've had better evenings!

Day 36: Troyes

Sunday morning began with a panic due to the toilets being accessable only through the boys rooms and them being sound asleep. Anyway Jonas eventually woke up and a possible disaster was averted. Feeling slightly claustrophobic I headed into town for food and internet. But wait, I'm in France and its a Sunday. How silly of me to presume that ANYWHERE will be open!

Found a boulangerie that was open at last to got some munch and wandered about for a bit in the vain hope of finding an internet cafe...no luck. Back to the boys for some banter and more pasta with tomato sauce and sausages (this is what we had last night). Surprisingly tasty though and I got a beer with it. Also they had a Scottish guy living in their block so I got to meet him and talk at my normal speed about how awesome Glasgow is for about an hour. I loved it! Also got to meet their Argentinian mate who had a hilarious voice and laugh but was totally sound. If anyone should be described as "bubbly", this is her with me, Jonas and Thiago.

Day 35: Lucy to Troyes. Approximately 60 miles.

Up and out early doors to contend with the hill. Having sucessfully negotiated this the rest of the day went pretty well bar the pissing wet rain and freezing cold. Why am I doing this in November?Stopped for some coffee and a wee heat in a sound wee village with loads of sound folk and good chocolate croissants. Back on the road heading for Arcis-sur-Aube where I passed this:

Thats right, its a plane on a stick, a red phone box, a nuclear device, half a car plastered onto the side of a house and a boat all plonked in the middle of the French countryside.
The rain really got going just before lunch which was nice but had I known what was waiting for me I would have been much happier. Formula lunches: officially the best thing about France and possibly enough to balance out the outrageous opening hours, lack of hard shoulder and shite youth hostels. Possibly. Anyway the situation is you get a buffet choice of charcuterie and cheese etc followed by a massive plate of meat and veg followed by more cheese and bread followed by a dessert of your choice. Then you have to pay about 11 Euro. Gallus!

While I was enjoying my new found lifeline I made friends with these folk who were sitting next to me. Gillian, Melanie and their blind and deaf dog who has apparently beaten all estimates of his lifespan. Good effort.

Still another 20 miles to Troyes but the afternoon was good with a full belly and Michael Jackson on the ipod (again). Got fucked by a hailstorm about 500m from my destination, thanks weather, but I was couchsurfing with two Brazilian exchange students so their apartment was about 40 degrees.

Everyone seemed rather worse for wear following a party they had the night before so we sat about and watched City of God, which was of course excellent, then hit the hay early.

Day 34: Reims to Lucy. Approximately 30 miles.

Oh dear... a day of low morale. The day started well with pretty gallus weather and an efficient exit from Reims. Sadly this good start was marred by numerous brutal hills and busy roads: on with the helmet! Not many miles to do but distance gets forgotten when its all uphill.

Got to Epernay for lunch and a visit to the Lavmatic. Left it a bit late to go to Lucy meaning that the temperature was unpleasantly low. Couchsurfing again with a bird in a tiny wee village which was to be found over more brutal hills...one of which turned out to be completely unecessary. Women cannot give directions, this has turned out to be one of the most important lessons of this whole journey! On top of this I realised that I would have to go back up said brutal hill first thing in the morning, good times!

Eventually arrived at my couchsurfing destination which was indeed in the middle of nowhere. it also transpired that the bird couldn't really speak English and her family coulcd't speak any at all. Ended up sitting on the computer while they all watched French tv and bantered in French....early to bed!

Day 33: Still in Reims

Due to the numerous (and varied) beers of last night Thomas and I agreed to sleep in, awesome. Shutters appear to be all the rage in France which is particularly dangerous for those of us who enjoy sleeping in until the light wakes us up...out of bed at 3pm. Anyway Thomas eventually decided to check if I was still alive and to suggest venturing out to find food and coffee and a bike shop. Off we went to get some pretty good pizza and a fucking excellent strawberry tart, much happier.

My cleats had taken the decision to dislike being attached to my pedals which is an annoyance and a half so Thomas took me to the local sports shop to see if we could get the situation dealt with. It is not, however, particularly easy to explain this when the person you need to understand you speaks no english and you speak no technical french. So into the shop comes the bike and following much clicking noises and dramatic reenactments the man seemed to get the picture. In the end he replaced the cleats for free, what a legend!

Coffee and a visit to another church (this time Romanesque rather than Gothic) then home for a sit and the greatest meal ever. This meal is as follows:

Tartiflette

Ingredients:

potatoes (enough to fill the dish)

shallots

bacon

comte cheese

creme fraiche

roblochon cheese

Essentially all you do is cook everything then stick it in the dish, put the roblochon on top and stick it in the oven until the cheese melts....heaven! Its greasy as fuck and Thomas was silly enough to ask me if I was "ok with greasy food", ha!

Couldn't really move afterwards to settled in for Into the Wild and beer. Good evening all round.

Day 32: Still in Reims

Following the out and out success that was my first ever couchsurf, I elected to stay in reims and continue kipping on random floors for free.

Headed out to meet Thomas, host number 2. Instantly likeable character who gave me directions to his house as he was driving and I, of course, was with bike and associated crap. Unfortunately these directions took me the wrong way down a one way street that was made even more hectic by extensive tram installation works. Anyway I got there after a few shouts from the locals.

Thomas is mental into climbing so we went to the indoor bouldering centre in the afternoon. I have only ever scaled the side of teh climbing frame in Rouken Glen Park so this was pretty exciting! Sadly my arms tend to do nothing excpet support the odd rollup so I don't think that climbing will be my new triumph but I enjoyed in nonetheless.

Following this experience I decided that constant cycling is not the way forward on this trip. A few solid days here and there are all well and good to notch up the miles (and get to where I'm meant to be) but the fun is in meeting new folk and seeing new things, neither of which are possible when staring at the road and concentrating on not getting flattened by speeding lorries.

Back to my new flat, in which I had my own room, for some chilling and beer and banter. One of the beers was a bit rogue: from Brussels and smelt suspiciously of sick. Anyway the second was rather more enjoyable, as was the chatter with Thomas and his mate. Off to the pizza shop then to a pub named "The Pub of the Joking Troll". Metallica playing as we entered and cider on the menu. Ahhh, nice. Thomas and his mates were total geeks meaning that they were really sound folk with funny stories of geekery and such. I liked them all. I also liked all the beer I had, of which there were many, including one with pink elephants on the bottle and one that looked like this:
Back to Thomas' friend's house for some guitar hero. Thats right. Guitar hero. And I loved it! Not played it for years now but I soon found my rhythm and the three of us had a great time! Total geek core, as a certain Mr Yates would say.

Day 31: Charleville to Reims. Approx no miles as I pussied out and got the train.

Up and about in Charleville for breakfast and more internet. Oh how I'm utterly addicted to facebook. Again.

Anyway off to the station to go to Reims and meet my first ever couchsurfing host! Exciting but also slightly nervewracking. Cheers to Mr Bell for pointing out the fact that they could well be murderers or similar. Although, Dad, I reckon at the age of 22 I'm relatively safe from the threat of paedophiles.

Thankfully, the woman was neither a murderer or a paedophile and was in fact a totally sound English teacher with a great flat and a phone that calls European landlines for free. This is her;

Lunch of chicken and tasty couscous style stuff followed by some peace and quiet cause she went out to meet her mate. After satisfying my facebook addiction once more and employing the use of the greatest phone in the world I headed out to see some of Reims. The cathedral is pretty fucking good, although I wish I hadn't seen York Minster as it makes even the best cathedrals look a bit rubbish.

Back to the flat for some dishes - I really miss normal quiet things such as this- coffee and cigarettes. Oh yeah, she let me smoke inside; couchsurfing heaven! She came back so we had some banter about her life and mine and watched some shit TV in the form of the French version of Come Dine With Me. Her name is Pascale and she has two kids about my age and a number of brutal love life experiences. Really sound woman though who made me feel totally at home.

Off to bed following a marathon phone call to London...happy days.

P.S. The photos are trapped in my camera which is trapped in my lodgings but I will add them shortly.

Day 30: Givet to Charleville. Approx 55 miles.

Up in the morning for breakfast with Jaques except that he had forgotten to bring the bread due to being far too pissed. Ha! Well tea with honey and directions to the boulangerie works just as well. On his advice I headed for the routes verts which leads all the way to Charleville down the side of the Meuse river, i.e. its flat.

After getting mildly lost mainly due to stupidity and it being early in the morning the path was fucking great. Pretty much flat the whole way, no cars and once the rain stopped, nice things to look at. Today was the first 'day of the jacket' though... hmmm, maybe I shouldn't have gone on a cycling expedition in October. Stopped in Fumay for 'lunch' but since it was Monday and I was in France, everything was shut. Managed some chips in the rain from a van.

Afternoon was nicer though until I got to Charleville and remembered that had nowhere to stay or a map of the city. Again.

Eventually after circling the town centre a few times I found the holy grail: an internet cafe beside the tourist information! Ended up having to pay 40 Euro for a shitty hotel though but I also got a french phone! Hello people of Scotland! The 10 buck of free credit didn't last an hour from leaving the shop though. Apparently calling home is not practical!

Bed: early. Money: low. Resolution: stop showing up places with nowhere to stay.

Day 29: Namur to Givet. Approx 30 miles.

Lazy day! Easy riding by the side of the Meuse down to Dinant for lunch. Who knew that Michael Jackson went so well with cycling in the Belgian countryside?! Sometimes I sing on my bike now which is probably a slightly worrying sign, not to mention upsetting for those that I pass!

Anyway a pretty uneventful day until I hit Givet in early afternoon in the pissing wet. Other than the fact that I was officially in France again! Country number four:

Benjamin had kindly found some places to stay so I headed to the tourist information for a map. Ferme. Went to a pub to try to locate said hotels. They said that one was ferme but that the other one wasn't far. Off to the hotel....can you guess? Ferme. It appears that rural France opts out of everything on a sunday and monday. Awesome news.

Still raining so decided to go back to the pub to wait and see if the second hotel would open later. Met an old man by the name of Jaques Mathews who had some family in Newcastle, Carlisle and London so he could speak some English. Fucking great banter! We chatted for ages about loads of things and had many many beers. Found out that he has one daughter who is now a vet and is really into horses, he is a widower, he used to be a dentist and his wife was a pharmacologist, he likes to go to London to buy suits, Givet is rubbish to live in and he is a fan of Midsomer Murders.

More beer and chat with the pub folk then dinner of veal and veg and rice (first ever veal and it was super tasty if slightly morally questionable) which Jaques insisted on buying. Gilles, the man in charge, called loads of paces to find somewhere for me to stay but to no avail! Anyway Jaques to the rescue as he said I was welcome to stay in his daughter's room! Awesome! He reminded me very much of my Grandpa except that he smokes a pipe. This is me and Jaques, the saviour of Givet:

Day 28: Namur

A beautiful day in Namur and an internet cafe with phones, heaven! Breakfast then off for a wander into Namur before heading to the boat for lunch with Jerome.

The boat was fucking excellent. It was an old tug boat which is now painted green and blue and has a bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, sitting room, bit for the engine etc and loads of space on deck for sitting and vegetables and that! This is Jerome (and his excellent hair) and me (looking slightly spasticated) aboard the boat.
Anyway ended up sitting there for hours having some beer and some chat as his girlfrind and some friends came also. Really nice afternoon which makes me thing it would be awesome to have a boat!

Was meant to go do lots of tourist things like see the Citadel and some exhibitions etc but the boat took priority and it was nearly dark by the time I left. Wandered about and got a Belgian waffle with some chocolate on it which maybe counts as being a bit touristy. Maybe. Regardless it was really good.

Interneting to try to find somewhere to stay the next day then some chat with home! Exciting! Back to the hostel for a free haircut by Benjamin. As I said, probably the best receptionist in the world. Here he is in his den:

Day 27: Brussels to Namur. Approx 50 miles.

Up early for breakfast with Erik and the dogs and the cats. Decided to pump up my tyres which resulted in a broken valve...irritating! Anyway I'm getting rather good at changing tubes if I say so myself so all fixed and packed off I went.

Followed the main canal south out of Brussels so as not to get lost which was excellent as it was sunny and flat and quiet, thus:

Cycle cycle and into Halle for a toilet stop, a pain au chocolat and a fag. Perhaps the fag wasn't the best idea as the road out of Halle is a massive hill... It turns out that belgium is not completely flat, again! These hills were not, however, small and mildly annoying such as those on the way to Brussels. Anyway nothing to be done but power on and be thankful that it wasn't windy.

Into Nivelles for lunch of tuna sandwiches then back on the road to Namur. More hills in the afternoon meant that I decided to stop for a coffee in a tiny wee village. Went in and lots of locals (none of whom could speak any English) looked rather puzzled at a young Scottish girl with a brutal haircut and a bike happening upon their pub. After lots of map pointing and terrible French from me they realised what I was up to and they loved it! Really sound folk who insisted on buying me a beer and explaining that the road to Namur contained some "montagne" which i reckoned meant more brutal hills. This is them:

It was actually perhaps a blessing that they suggested "montagne" because it meant i was waiting for a horrific hill the whole way and was pleasantly surprised when I ended up in Namur without such an event. To the tourist office for a map then to the hostel which, thank god, had a room for me!

Beer, beer, beer and chat with Benjamin, the soundest receptionist ever and apparently (not by his own admission) the best guy in Namur. Also met his friend Jerome who delivers groceries on a bike and lives on a boat. He invited me for lunch the next day and thankfully Benjamin had a space for me the next night so I could hang about the next day.

Day 26: Brussels

Oh to be in a house again! With my very own room and everything! Sarah and Erik (my hosts) are great! Lots of good food and chat and rather randomly some Home and Away...I'm sure they will love me for saying that! Spent the morning attempting to organise the next few days but French youth hostels have a terrible website and don't take bookings by debit card, disaster. Anyway definately going to Namur then into France.

Afternoon was spent wandering in Brussels. Got the very efficient underground from Simonis into town to visit the Grande Place:

Full of tourists and weird Belgian men who like to whisper things at me when I go past. Very nice buildings though and lots of wee chocolate shops. More wandering then back to the house for some interneting with home and dinner. Also I love coming to home excitable dogs; definately get a dog when I'm older. Erik and Sarah came home so sat with them and had some chat. Erik told me about a place called Taizé which is a commune type place in France where young people from all over the world can go to meet and meditate and generally have a nice time. It is also where Sarah and Erik met!

Day 25: Brugge to Brussels. Approx 60 miles.

Bye Richard and Greg! Its very weird meeting folk and getting on so well with them then having to leave and possibly never see them again. Although Richard lives in Melbourne now so I'll see him in June, nice!

A beautiful day makes everything easier though and this was one. No wind, sunny, not too cold but not too hot, perfect! Heading for Gent for lunch on quiet roads with cycle paths most of the way. I read in Brugge; "maybe Gent will be as romantic as Brugge one day". I think not. I'm not sure why but I didn't like it much. Maybe it was the fact that I couldn't find the right road out of it for ages...

Eventually back on the road heading in the right direction but it was 3pm but the time I got going. Not good! Still a good while from Brussels....

Cycling was ok in the afternoon but some mild hills put me in a bad mood after days of continuous flat. Its like the rain in Glasgow; it pisses it down most of the time but everyone still gets upset if its dry for three days then the rain returns! By the time I was near Brussels the light was fading and I was getting more and more irritated. The signs were telling me to go into a small town on the outskirts so I decided to ignore them which may or may not have landed me on a motorway. Well folk were going very fast and beeping so the signs were there. Got off that pretty quickly and to my delight I was in Brussels!

Now, just to find the right street and house with no detailed map of Brussels and no knowledge of Flemish. Hmmmm... Eventually found a man who spoke English AND had a detailed map of Brussels. Jackpot. 2 minutes later I was in the house meeting my friend Hannah's parents, their friend Jo, two cocker spaniels and three cats. Happy days!

Day 24: Brugge

Plan for the evening: quiet beer, some reading of the Economist and early to bed. Actual evening: met some awesome guys from Tazmania, have (too) many Belgian beers, talk loads, concentrate on not throwing up in bed. Much better!

Met my new friend Richard for breakfast then out and about for some sightseeing. Had to got back to the hostel to get Greg though because he doesn't like getting up in the morning, lazy bum! Anyway eventually got to some actual stuff so went for coffee and pastries then to the only remaining brewery in Brugge for some morning beer and a tour. This may have been the best tour I have ever been on; lots of wee passages, backwards stairs, beer cans, beer and the soundest/ most enthusiastic guide in existence! This is him:

Also, you get a free beer afterwards! What could be better? Another highlight of the tour was going onto the roof which gave us an awesome view of the city and meant that we didn't have to go up the tower which none of us could really be arsed to do anyway. This is the Tazmanians on the roof of the brewery (left Richard, right Greg, both fucking excellent).

Off for some excellent pasta then a wee ride in a canal boat. Also went to get a map of Belgium since I didn't fancy negotiating the rest of the week by compass. Once Greg had had his afternoon nap we headed out for chips and mayo which is a Belgian thing. And when they say mayo they mean so much that you can't see your chips.

Later on we discovered the delight that is a lack of a smoking ban in Belgium. Hurrah! And... the holy grail of Jo en Europe; a pub that sold Strongbow! Yum yum yum, oh how I had missed the brutal taste!

Met some Australians (they are everywhere) so had more pints with them and decided to leave the Strongbow behind for a pub that did beers for 1 Euro. We then had to find a kebab as Richard and Greg had had one in every country they had been in on their trip. Apparently Berlin was the best and Amsterdam the worst. Brugge was ok but came with a burger bun which lost it points.